well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
