I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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