that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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