after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize