you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
