can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
