They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
