my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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