You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
