Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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