I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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