Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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