dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Your penis caused this!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
