He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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