hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
