Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
