bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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