he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
