Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
