Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
