Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
