i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
