I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
