turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize