Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
