It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
