After last night, I could never be a politician.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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