I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
