he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize