Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
