pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
