were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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