I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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