I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
