are you still at the devil's house?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
