I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
