so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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