dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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