dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
