i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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