there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
