How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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