Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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