Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize