After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
