dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
