just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
