remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
