I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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