So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize