if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
