you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
