dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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