i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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