Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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